Had a gutful!
I have just had enough of everything at the moment. I’m tired, stressed and frustrated. Two weeks left of my uni holidays and I haven’t had an actual break. I went straight from uni + working + exams –> working full time, so I’m still feeling just as run down and stressed as I was at the end of semester. Plus, with only two weeks of uni ‘holidays’ (*insert sarcastic tone*) left, I am already getting stressed in anticipation of next semester and the huge workload I will have, doing 5 big subjects (including 3 with a lab component).
So I am going to have a good old fashioned whinge to get it all off my chest. Feel free to give me pity, I will take what I can get!
Things pissing me off/stressing me out right now:
- No holidays. People think students have it so easy. Well, think again! During semester I not only do a full-time load (sometimes more) but then I have to also work 20+ hrs a week around that to try and survive (as I don’t get any sort of financial assistance – see next point).
- Money. So, because my bf earns an okay income, and we are classed as de facto, I am not entitled to any form of student financial aid at all. Nothing. No centrelink, no student bonuses, no uni scholarships. So I have to work in almost every spare minute I have to earn enough to survive. This severely cuts into my study time (and sometimes I have to skip classes), so my grades have been well below what they potentially could be.
- Customers. I am so sick of being treated like shit by customers. Constantly being talked down to, verbally abused and sometimes even laughed at. Just the other day I was called a useless f****ing c**** as we had run out of paper takeaway bags. Yep, that was all it took. Just because I work in a fast food outlet does not make me any less of a person than anyone else. People seem to have some preconceived idea that anyone in this industry is an uneducated no-hoper, not worthy of simple common courtesies, even as small as a please or thankyou. Word of warning: don’t piss off the people preparing your food…..
- Work. Sick of simply having JOBS, not a CAREER, to pay my way through uni. So pointless working these dead end jobs, with shit hours, for crap money, which don’t progress me in any way career-wise.
- Life in general. Really struggling at the moment to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Feels like I have been stuck at uni for a lifetime. And all for what? I mean, what’s the point of it all? Four years wasted just to get a slightly better paying job than normal (albeit probably one I will enjoy more). But now I just feel four years behind in everything. Further away from travelling, buying a house etc. I’m 26 and feel like my life hasn’t even started yet, but is moving rapidly closer to nothingness. Just want to feel like my life is actually progressing in some way.
- Friends. Finding that whilst I go out of my way all the time for those I consider close friends, I am not receiving the same courtesy back (bar probably one person – not including family etc). Have found that once I stopped organising things and initiating invites, I have not received any in return (more to come on this, as have been doing a little experiment). Letting them all fall to the wayside as I don’t have the energy to be doing all the work in these relationships anymore. The true friends have made themselves known and will still be there in the end. And I have always preferred having just a handful of really close friends than a large groups of ‘acquaintances’.
- Holding back. I hate that there are certain things I can’t vent about on my own blog, due to certain people reading them. As much as I would love to spill all on certain topics, the details would be too obvious and would make it awkward for people other than myself. So, annoyingly, I must censor myself. Which, on my own blog, is frustrating as hell!
- Body. I am so SICK of being overweight. I have been gymming my heart out, eating good etc. But thanks to a little bastard called PCOS (see my post on PCOS here), I’ve basically seen no results at all, which is extremely depressing and unmotivating. Plus, being short, any extra weight looks even worse. I don’t want to be some silly sz 8 or whatever, but I just feel yuck and big at the moment, and feel like my comfortable weight is prob 10k under what I am now. But getting there seems impossible. Not to mention the other side effects of PCOS. Over it!
Well, I think that covers most of it. Of course, there are always an assortment of little insignificant things, but they are the main offenders.
So what’s bothering you at the moment? Feel free to let it all out below, and let’s all share in a big ol’ whinge together!!
Tagged as Friends, Government Benefits, Income, Life, Money, PCOS, Stress, Student Costs, University, Work + Categorized as Me, myself and I, Random Rants